My therapy clients hear it from me often…if you want to become a better, healthier and more authentic person…you need to be held accountable for the specific goals that you set. One way to do that is by finding a good therapist that is directive and goal oriented. Pretty much…the first question that I ask each week when a client comes for their session is how they are doing with the goals that we outlined the week before. They know this and try to avoid the uncomfortable deluge of shame and guilt by at least accomplishing some follow through in their upward movement.
There is a problem with the scenario of your therapist being the only one who knows what your short and long term goals are…daily accountability and motivation. 99% of one’s world exists outside of the therapy office and I certainly cannot follow you around to your work and home and make sure you are accomplishing what you wanted to do. So, It is incredibly important to create a network and safety net of trusted allies that will know and ask as well as observe your movement towards being authentic. All too often, individuals keep their shameful desire to better themselves…to stop lying or judging so harshly as a secret. These secret goals do not set the open expectation for change and obviously, those who need to do a lot of work in this area are not great at self-motivating towards such goals.
So…become more transparent to the people who can best help you stay accountable towards your ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ personal work. Set a trap for yourself by creating checks and balances within and without your daily system. You will be less likely to fail, more motivated to accomplish some movement towards a healthier existence…
